Women and Obesity

83

By Lisa HW

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This Hub is a lengthy one, but the subject it addresses is not a simple one. I know that not everyone wants to read lengthy material (particularly when there are no laughs to be had in it). So, consider this "warning" my way of providing you, the potential reader, with the opportunity to click away now (rather than one-third of the way through the Hub). I do think this subject is an important one, and I think it's about which too few people have solid understanding.

So, if you've decided to stick around grab some popcorn and a soda.... on second thought, grab a bottle of spring water, two celery sticks, and 10 blueberries.... and settle in. I can't promise that this Hub will offer anything you don't already know. I can, however, promise that I've made every effort to cover the subject as comprehensively as I know how.

An Analysis and Discussion About the Causes of Weight Problems in Women

"Why Are So Many Women Fat?" (Someone Else's Choice of Words - Not Mine)

In a recent visit to the HubPages forums I spotted a thread that was so bluntly worded it made me laugh. The question was about how "most women get so fat". As you can guess, most of the responses to the thread were about things like banana splits and Oreo cookies. As you may also guess, the thread was started by a man. In fairness to the man who posted the question (which may have been posed so bluntly as a result of English being a second language for the gentleman), the question of why so many have a weight problem is a legitimate one.

The truth is a lot of those responses are as funny as the question, but the facts that so many men don't understand why so many women gain weight, and that so many people don't understand how easily weight can be gained, are not funny. In the US, as well as any number of other nations, obesity rates have increased for women, men, and children. Within the last few years I've researched and written articles on the obesity "epidemic". Even with increased obesity in men and children, however, it is women who are sometimes seen (accurately or not) as the group with the biggest weight problem.

Anyone who has ever seen "exercise and diet guru", Richard Simmons, on television with his "followers" knows that some extremely serious degrees of obesity is caused by unhealthy attitudes about food (attitudes such as "substituting food for love"). This Hub is not about people for whom attitude toward food plays a role. Neither is about people with medical conditions that have caused extreme weight gain. It's also not about people who have gone through some traumatic experience and find themselves changing their behavior and adopting weight-promoting behavior. It's about what I call the "normal, run-of-the-mill" extra weight that sets in on a lot of women once they have children and leave their twenties. I call it "standard, middle-aged-woman, heavy".

Besides having researched material on obesity, (unlike men, young women, or people who live in such poverty there isn't food) I've often had the benefit of "hanging out" with a lot of women and hearing years of discussions about what led to weight gain in some of them. These have been women who live a nice-quality life in American suburbs, so it may be difficult for some people to understand how someone with such advantages could possibly gain weight. We frequently hear how people who live in poverty tend to eat too much macaroni or bread because it's less expensive; but why on Earth would so many women in better circumstances let themselves gain weight the way they do? After all, a lot of women (like actresses) who are wealthy manage to get old without getting fat. Why - when middle-class women can certainly afford healthy foods, and when they have "all the resources" to be fit - do so many "ordinary" (and usually middle-aged) women have a weight problem?

When I was in my early 20's and hanging out with girlfriends of the same age, we all weight in the area of 100/110 lbs. Our idea about why middle-aged women were so often heavy was that they "just ate too much". I didn't understand what the "big struggle" was with weight. "All she has to do is stop eating too much," I'd think. With the benefit of a youthful metabolism and a small frame that meant I didn't have much of appetite, weighing 100 or 110 lbs was easy for my girlfriends and me. Then we all went into our grown-up lives, had children, and entered our thirties. That's when those discussions about losing weight first started to show up in my circle of friends.

While there was a friend or two who had had a baby in her twenties, gained a massive amount of weight, and then lost it again; it seemed more common to hear about someone who had been left with an extra ten lbs (just what doctors and pregnancy books were recommending) but didn't lose it. In general, the younger the woman was when she had her baby, the easier it was for her to lose extra weight afterward. Most of the women I knew said the same thing, though, and that was that they were so exhausted with taking care of their baby and house (and for some, working as well) they couldn't deprive themselves of the fat or carbohydrates that "kept them going". More than once I heard, "We can't just go sleep on the couch, the way a lot of men do. We have to keep going."

As the number of children increases, so do the demands and the amount of work to be done. So, too, can the number of 5- or 10-lb weight increases. I had one friend with several children say, "I know I need to stop eating sweets, but I'm so exhausted I drive through Dunkin Donuts and get a Danish just to keep going." Another one, a working mother, said, "Crackers are my problem. I get home from work, and I'm so hungry and tired, I start in on the row of saltines while I'm making dinner for everyone else." So many women have some version of this type of "keep-going" carbohydrate-eating. On a 5' 4" woman, two pregnancies that leave 10 lbs each show. Three pregnancies at 10 lbs each show even more. For even smaller framed women this kind of weight gain shows up yet more dramatically - and since the demands of motherhood don't generally ease until children get into their teens, women in thirties often carry around 20 or 40 lbs they don't have the energy to lose before they enter their 40's.

Women in their 40's often still have young kids, jobs, houses, elderly parents to care for (or at least help and/or worry about), and a metabolism that has slowed down even more. Whether a woman picked up 20 lbs with two pregnancies and never lost it, or 5 lbs with 4 pregnancies and never lost it, as she ages she may discover that she has also picked up 2 or 3 additional lbs a year just because her metabolism has slowed. All weight-gain stories are different, but so many share a whole lot of common threads. The point is that women aren't "sitting in front of the TV and eating bon-bons". As for those Hollywood actresses who remain forever thin in spite of having a child or two, they have the benefit of help with child care and other day-to-day responsibilities. They can also afford liposuction and aren't above seeing the importance of getting it because of their careers.

It isn't just the demands of raising a family, however, that can contribute to the numbers of Size 14 women. Stress causes cravings, so in both women and men, stress can lead to weight gain, as well as difficulty adering to the right kind of diet in order to lose weight.

When someone is under stress his body goes into a stress-response "mode", which includes a rise in blood pressure, narrowing of arteries (Nature's way of preventing bleeding to death if the stress were to be caused by a physical threat), elevated blood sugar levels, and elevated cortisol levels (to name a few of the changes that take place under stress). Some of these changes actually cause fierce cravings for "high-energy" foods (carbohydrates or fats), which is, again, Nature's way of preparing the body for any "threats". Teen girls who are overweight may have their weight problem as a result of stress. Girls from low-income families (where carbohydrates may be a big part of family meals, and where stress at home or school can add to the problem) are often girls who have weight problems.

The trouble for people like middle-aged, suburban, mothers, is that there is often not any physical threat (although, more often than we may think, the physical threat of domestic violence is always there, as well). For the "ordinary woman", however, it is the stress of worries that set the body into "craving mode".

There are always worries about children. Often there are worries about other people in the family. Many women have money worries. The worries go on and on, and for a lot of women the stress is compounded by a husband who makes things more difficult for her, who doesn't help, or even who constantly gives her a hard time about having gained weight. With so many of the worries and stresses being shared by both a wife and husband, sometimes weight gain becomes the problem for both. (Ironically, even when the husband has a weight problem too it isn't all that unusual for him to see the wife's weight gain as the only problem, at least for him.) When the demands and stresses weigh more heavily on a woman, her husband may remain his normal weight and just not understand why his wife has become so heavy.

What women in middle age often discover is that even if the demands of having small children let up, and even if the housework demands decrease, the worries of having teenagers and college-aged kids can seem worse than any worries in the past. Middle-age, too, often brings divorce and/or death of parents or other older-generation family members. Also, the longer we live the more are the chances we'll encounter health problems ourselves or have family members who develop them. The point is that for a lot of women (and people in general) the stress, demands, and worries of normal living combine with decreased metabolism, decreased energy, and decreased time to regularly exercise. On top of all that, the woman who grew up as slender child and turned into a slender young woman can become overwhelmingly blue about her own weight gain, and that doesn't help when it comes to stress.

People who don't understand how their mothers gained weight, or who don't know "how on Earth" any woman could possibly let herself gain weight, often say heavy women have "let themselves go". That seems so cruel when it considers that most overweight women care very much about their health and appearance. These can be women who generally take very good of their appearance when it comes to getting their hair done, wearing make-up, or wearing nice clothes. There is some truth to the words, "let themselves go", though. What many people don't realize is that so many women didn't prefer to neglect their weight and fitness. It's just what happened when life and time made so many demands on them while lowering their metabolism at the same time.

When stress causes such fierce cravings it is impossible to ignore the feeling of weakness, inability to concentrate, and anxiety a person cannot ignore what is essentially their body's need for high-energy food. The doctors involved in a study on stress and cravings recommended that people give in to those cravings, because the stress response is such an unhealthy state to remain in for too long. They noted that short-term giving in to cravings may result in gaining a little weight but that a small weight gain is healthier than remaining in a stress response. The trouble is that for a lot of women, as well as men, high stress can be a seemingly permanent part of life. The difference between women and men, however, is that men usually have the advantage of larger muscles that use up more calories, larger frames that can accommodate weight gain more graciously, and are more likely to work in jobs that require very strenuous physical activity.

Both sexes have that minority of people who remain forever ectomorphic no matter how much they eat or exercise, but most women are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to extra weight. The National Center for Health Statistics shows the average height of American women to be 63.8" (just a smidgen below 5' 4"). Even with a perfectly stress-free life and a relatively modest weight gain (perhaps from having a couple of children and not losing it combined with a slowed with age-associated changes in metabolism rate), 15 lbs on a 5' 4" women shows up. (We often hear how 6-foot-tall, generally ectomorphic, fashion models "have to starve" in order to remain so thin. How little must the average, 5' 4", woman have to eat to remain fashionably slender?

Not getting enough sleep is said to contribute to weight gain. "Forgetting to eat" all day, only to finally eat something at 8:00 p.m. when the children are asleep is another thing that contributes to weight gain. While anyone with a weight problem takes in more calories than he expends, it's a myth that heavy people "eat like pigs". With the exception of one very overweight friend I had (who obviously had overeating problem that would be considered a "disorder", and who unfortunately died of a heart attack at 44), women I've known who have more weight than they (or anyone else) thinks is ideal aren't particularly big eaters. They tend to be breakfast-skippers who eat little for lunch, may drink a lot of calories in light coffee, juice, soda, or other high-calorie beverages (but may not) - and then are so tired and hungry at dinner they eat carbohydrates (because at 7 or 8 p.m. the night is young, and there's still 5 or even 8 more hours of chores to do).

Yet one other thing that contributes to weight gain in women are hormones. Like stress hormones, the hormones associated with a woman's reproductive cycle (separate from pregnancy) can contribute to weight gain when they're "thrown off". Birth-control pills, menopause, or longer-than-average stretches of PMS can all contribute to cravings, anxiety/stress, or even nausea that is relieved by eating.

In the days of seventeenth-century painter, Peter Paul Rubens (before the era of "the-camera-adds-10-lbs" and before fashion, beauty, and even health trends began to deem that only the flattest of abs are acceptable), women one might guess would today wear, maybe, a Size 14, were the subjects of art. Today, the same women may find themselves the object of ridicule, even if that ridicule was directed as "fat" women in general, and not them, personally. If not ridicule, rounder women are often viewed with unspoken disdain, disgust, or the presumption of laziness and/or gluttony.

Even when husbands and boyfriends claim to prefer rounder women (or really do - it does happen), women who don't have super-flat abs and super-trim thighs often hate their own appearance. Women don't have to weigh 200 lbs to hate their bodies. The 120-lb woman who once weighed 102 is just as likely to hate what she sees in the mirror. Some people blame fashion magazines for contributing to this. Some blame the Barbie doll. My theory is that heterosexual women find the angular look often associated with men attractive, so if they don't "angular" when they look in the mirror they aren't going to like what they see, even if they only weigh lbs. The point is that by the time women deal with their own dislike of their body, and a world full of men, "chronically ectomorphic" women, young women, and women who have a life that allows them to take the time to work out regularly and remain free of stress cravings (none of whom understand how easy it is to gain and never lose weight); there is often not much compassion for women who don't have flat abs and the tiny bottom of an eleven-year-old.

There's even the situation in which a woman who just isn't as slim as she'd like to be, but is seen as slim compared to extremely overweight women, may be met with contempt by an extremely heavy woman if she dares talk about how bad she feels about her weight. ("She's just fishing for compliments," is not an unusual reaction in this kind of situation.)

To make things worse, we live in a world where the assumption is that overweight people "don't know which foods are healthy" and "need to be educated". The fact is it is often the women who are sticklers for providing their families with healthy meals who don't have time to eat properly, or who have to keep going long after everyone else in the family gets to relax. It's bad enough that so many people have such contempt for extra weight, but adding the assumption that overweight women/people are also ignorant doesn't do much women's self-esteem; let alone for getting to the root of the problem and maybe improving the situation.

Most women who find that they've gained extra weight with age and life demands aren't plagued by terrible feelings of inadequacy. They often put the fact that they don't like their bellies or thighs in the back of their mind and remind themselves that there are so many things that are so much more important than wearing a bikini. The buy the "Mom jeans", wear sweaters that come down over their hips, and hope their husband isn't secretly wondering what ever happened to the girl he married. Some don't have to wonder.

Some women who gain weight do eventually get back in shape and stay that way. There are some who lose 10 or the 30 lbs they gained. Some just vow to get back in shape "one day" when one thing or another changes. Others may decide to embrace the "big-is-beautiful" motto and hope their heart holds up and Type II diabetes stays away. Then there are those who don't accept that "big" can be beautiful and give up on trying to look beautiful at all.

In any case, the point is that it usually not being lazy and eating "bon-bons" that cause women's weight problems. The very people who are often looked down on by a society which continues to put increasing emphasis on six-pack abs and bottoms that don't require "Mom jeans" are often the very people who hold families together, take care of their own families and anyone else who needs taking care, and take on far more of their share of responsibilities than is often reasonable. Ironically, the things that make women "with pooches" (as they call middles in the infomercials that sell fitness DVD's) have those "pooches" in the first place are the very things for which those women should be admired - not disdained.

Many, many, husbands and children will "love Mom anyway" and say how it doesn't matter that she isn't slender. That's nice, but it isn't enough. What women with weight problems need (and even need to understand, themselves) is a world that understands "why there are so many fat women", and a world that shuts up about weight problems unless there is something constructive to add to the conversation.

My mother, who did so much for so many people (in own family and outside of it) for her whole life, and who held so many things and people together when she was widowed in her early fifties, lived with (I'm guessing) between 30 and 50 lbs of extra weight, which began coming on when she was 40. She had had a perfect build when she was in her twenties, gotten slimmer later, and eventually lost even more weight when she contracted Tuberculosis. I was six when she was hospitalized for seven months, and it was while she was hospitalized that she received medication that slowed down her metabolism. She returned home not too pleased with having gained so much weight, and she was on a plan that included as much rest as possible, eating well, and several years of x-rays and check-ups. It wasn't a time for her to cut down on eating, and a few years later she gained more weight when she went through menopause. She was 53 when my father died, and that brought on any number of challenges and demands.

My mother hated the fact that she had never been able to lose more than 10 or 15 lbs before gaining some back, and she was in her late fifties when she was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. She tried to stay with the diabetics' diet, but so often she just said she "had to have" something she shouldn't. She didn't "go wild", but she had real difficulty steadfastly following the rigid diet. She spoke with frustration as she'd say how hard it was to always stay on the diet (and she wasn't binging on sweets, by any means). What I didn't know then (and therefore what I couldn't tell her) was how stress can cause such fierce cravings that not giving in to them results in a feeling of not being able to function. With Rheumatoid Arthritis also rearing its ugly head in her late fifties, my mother could not embark on any exercise routine.

My mother was 76 when a heart attack rendered her bedridden for fifteen months. She lost both her lower legs before dying with gangrene within a month of the amputations. Before her attack this woman did far more in her long days than most 30-year-olds could even imagine doing.
After she died, a family member said, "It's too bad she just didn't seem to get it when it came to how important it was to stick with the right diet." My mother did "get it". She wasn't stupid. This was the woman who made sure my siblings and I got only the healthiest of food (long before "awareness of healthy food" was a trend). What she didn't "get" was what she believed was her own weakness and lack of willpower, in view of the fact that more than "got it" with regard to the importance of sticking to the diet.

Knowing what I now do about stress and food cravings, I've often wondered whether her struggles with blaming herself while being aware of the importance of the diet may have contributed to her stress. How I wish I could have explained to her then that she was essentially at the mercy of cravings caused by stress and exhaustion. Maybe she could have "gotten it" that if she couldn't control the cravings she at least needed to make it a point to slow down, rest, and reduce the stress and demands. Understanding this might just have been the thing that could have reduced the stress, reduced the cravings, and allowed her to stick to her diet and get her Type II diabetes under control.

I may have chuckled when I saw the blunt question online about why "so many women are fat", and then when I saw all the answers about banana splits and Oreo cookies. The fact is, however, that being overweight is not a joking matter any more than it's reason to think less of someone's character or intelligence.

It is my hope in writing this Hub that at least some people will be encouraged, not to ask "why are so many fat", but what can any of us do to alleviate the stresses and demands that can lead to exhaustion and cravings that, when not indulged, lead people to feel they just can't function or think clearly. That goes for men and children, as well as women; but it is women, perhaps, who most often take the brunt of attitudes that suggest extra weight is nothing more complicated than going on cookie-eating binges for the pleasure of it.





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