Two-Year-Olds and Play

Knowing which types of toys and activities are best for two-year-olds requires having a good understanding of children of this age.

Two-year-olds are usually a lot smarter than most people realize they are. At the same time, life can be challenging for two-year-olds in far more ways than many people understand. This can make knowing just which toys and activities are right for a two-year-old a little challenging for parents. Understanding a few basic "issues" associated with being two years old can help guide parents toward making just the right choices of toys and activities to offer.

The "Issues" Associated with Being Two

Whether or not a child of has mastered speaking well, language development (which includes understanding language, not just speaking) has come a long way in a child this age. The child who hasn't yet mastered speaking well can be frustrated at his own inability to express himself. The child who does speak well, however, may not have the "more advanced" thinking that helps people understand situations and other people (while parents may assume they do, simply because of the skill with which they are able to communicate verbally). In other words, in one way or another two-year-old people have limited ability to express what needs to be expressed and to understand some of the more complicated things people say to them.

At two years old, these little folks have just recently become aware of their own independence. They know what they like and don't like, and what they want and don't want. They want to assert their new-found sense of independence, but because they're so little it isn't always possible to let them have/do what they want (because, to be honest, they sometimes want ridiculous stuff). Not being allowed to assert their independence, however, means that having a sense of control becomes very important for two-year-olds. Life is particularly frustrating for two-year-olds; and what makes it all the more difficult is the fact that they're brand new to being "little people" (instead of babies), so they just don't have the emotional maturity to be able to deal very graciously with a lot of the frustrations. Rules and too much structure aren't things for which two-year-olds are well equipped or ready.

Two-year-olds, like all young children, absolutely thrive on, and need, positive attention and interaction with one or both parents. It meets their emotional needs. It helps develop their language skills. It's also a respite from the otherwise often hard-to-understand or hard-to-deal-with
frustrations of life as a two-year-old. While there is peace and security in having an adult play, with him, a two-year-old can find being expected to keep up in play with other children too often a little too frazzling. While two-year-olds like being with other children they lack the social skills to "really" play with the other children. Children their own, difficult, age can be particularly difficult for them to deal with. They can become upset when trying to keep up with older children. Two-year-olds can "wear out" much sooner than even three-year-olds. Having an adult to keep an eye of potential frustrations for the little one, or playing with all the children present, can minimize frustrations for a two-year-old (provided that adult understands the challenges two-year-olds face).

In other words, life for two-year-olds and two-year-olds themselves, is a combination of simple and complex. It's not wonder so many parents can find it a little challenging to know what activities are appropriate for children of this age.

Two-year-olds have a very short attention span, which might lead parents to think they aren't interested in sitting down and playing for any length of time. Surprisingly, though, a two-year-old will often sit and play for quite a while under some circumstances. Sometimes it may actually be more accurate to describe a two-year-old's attention span as "challenged", rather than "short"; because what can make the difference between whether a child will engage in any activity for any length of time is whether the child's interest has been captured. Yet something else to understand about a two-year-old is what will not only capture his interest, but maintain it for a while. Also important to recognize is that two-year-olds have a really easy sense of humor, and making use of that can help keep them entertained.

Something very important to realize is that in the first three years of life children's brains are developing connections. We often hear that play is learning, but it's also important to realize that the ability to play involves a certain type of thinking; and all thinking skills require nurturing and encouragement. As young as they are, two-year-olds don't necessarily already know how to play. Those with parents who nurture the ability to play as early as possible may be more skilled at playing than some; but in general, two-year-olds have entered a new stage of development and need parents to introduce them to different ways of playing. If you hand a Teddy Bear to a two-year-old he may not automatically know how to "make the bear talk". All it takes is for a parent to "make the bear talk", and the child will most likely emulate that particular type of play.

Because of all the "issues" associated with being two, two-year-olds tend to play best when they're near a parent and able to interact with her/him (even if the parent isn't sitting down and playing). Two-year-olds may not like sitting on their mother's lap very much, but they never like to be too far away from her (or another adult they're close to). They need to learn to play, and they need things kept simple. Not only does a little sit-down play help offer a calm time during a frazzling day, but it can help a child learn that playing quietly can be enjoyable. Play offers a young child time without struggles for independence or worries about control.

All children need a good balance of activities, but two-year-olds can only handle so much "frazzling" activity. The right kind of calm, "purely happy", play can be a good (and necessary) antidote to a busy day, a lot of time with other children, not feeling well, or any number of other "frazzling" things.

Toys and Activities for Two-Year-Olds

When my son was two his father and I bought him what looked like a great toy. It was a bright yellow plastic toy through which specially designed picture tiles could be slid. When a tile was run through the toy a voice would say the word that was pictured on the tile. The word was also printed on the reverse side of the tiles, and the tiles were in primary colors that designated categories such as "vehicles", "animals", etc. The age for which the toy was designed was on the box, and it appeared just right for my son.

My son did run the tiles through here and there, but what he most enjoyed was to dump all the word tiles out in a pile on the floor. He'd he ask his father and me which tiles had which words. This is a great example of how two-year-olds don't like rules and structure, but they do like to have their interest captured. It's also a great example of how two-year-olds like to interact with parents during play. To our surprise, our two-year-old son learned to recognize the words printed on the tiles. This is an example of how two-year-olds are often far more capable of learning than many adults think they are. While it's true we spent a lot of money for a bunch of word tiles we could have found in a less expensive toy set, what was right about this toy was that it was not a "one-shot-deal" toy like a toy telephone, which offers only one thing for a child to do with it. The many, many, multi-colored tiles offered enough variety (just from the pictures, alone) to draw in my son. By contrast, if you hand a two-year-old a toy telephone he'll likely play with it for a short time and abandon it. There's only so many fake phone calls even a two-year-old wants to make, whether or not Mickey Mouse says "the same five 'different' things" with each new call.

The Different Types of Toys/Activities (Warning: Always choose age-appropriate toys and activities, but even then never leave a child unattended).

There are generally three different types of toys and activities to consider, when thinking about which toys are best for two-year-olds:

1. Toys and activities with which a child of that age may just naturally engage himself

These are toys and activities that don't require much introduction by an adult. They're things with which, when offered to a young child, a child will just naturally play. If you give a little one a riding toy he'll just sit on and ride it. If you give him a toy shopping cart he'll just naturally put things in it and push it. If you sit a two-year-old in a wading pool he'll just naturally start to splash and play in the water. Wading pool example (which requires supervision) aside, toys that will capture a child's attention naturally are good because they offer play and learning experiences in their own way; but these aren't usually the toys that will capture a two-year-old's attention for any length of time. It could be said that if it's water play, riding play, push play, or has a cute face a two-year-old will be engaged for a while. Riding and push toys shouldn't be overlooked because they encourage the development of large motor skills. Toys with a cute face shouldn't be overlooked because they encourage nurturing. Still, these are not the toys that will best teach a child "the fine art of play" or engage even a two-year-old for the longest time.

2. Toys and activities that will capture a child's attention after a parent has shown an example of how to play (which doesn't mean leaving the child unsupervised to play but which, instead, means that the parent doesn't need to remain actively involved all the time)

Puzzles, blocks, crayons and paper (with supervision, of course), doll houses and age-appropriate dolls, little garages with cars and age-appropriate people, toy dishes, play kitchens - provided these are designed for children under three (or used with supervision), these activities are among those most likely to capture a young child's attention for as long as possible. In addition, with a little parental introduction on how to use these toys/activities, a young child will then emulate and learn to entertain himself as well. These toys and activities not only help with fine motor development, but they encourage imagination.

The thing with imagination, though, is that a child often needs to see examples of imagination in action (and feel the fun of imagining) to learn this skill.

If you hand a two-year-old a puzzle without sitting with him and putting it together, he's likely to just empty out the pieces and abandon it. If you sit him in front of a pile of toddler blocks he may rifle through the pile for a little while before abandoning it. If you hand him a crayon (never do this) he'll write on something he shouldn't and maybe eat the crayon to boot. Toys like dollhouses or little garages may capture his attention for a little while; but without some introduction to how he can REALLY play, he isn't likely to be engaged with any one toy for too long.

When a parent sits with a child and shows him how to play a few different things go on. First, the child associates the activity with being entertained and feeling happy. This makes it more likely that he'll want to pick up that activity even when he's scooting around the house on his own, rather than sitting with his parent.

Showing a child all the play possibilities offered by things like dollhouses, garages, or toy kitchens is easy because two-year-olds have a fairly simple world. They know that people sit at tables, ride in cars, sleep in beds, eat dinner, and talk. They just need to be shown that toy people can be made to do the same things. When they're show the satisfaction of building a simple doll bed with blocks, or a simple house, they're introduced the many possibilities blocks offer. Feeling the satisfaction of seeing puzzles pieces create a whole picture shows children what it feels like to accomplish something and feel the reward. (When my eldest son was two I would sit at the dining room table with him and put together 24-piece jigsaw puzzles They were intended for older preschoolers, but they had the frame and backing with the shapes cut into the backing. It didn't take my little guy long to figure out how to quickly put those together, so I made it a point to pick up a new one whenever I had the chance. Many of the puzzles aimed at two-year-olds were made of wood and had about nine cut-out, wooden, pieces that fit into place on the wooden background. I learned that my son wasn't interested in those but was more than interested in the more difficult puzzles. The moral to this story is, "Never underestimate the interest a two-year-old can have in some things aimed at older children. Just make sure you supervise if you let your child have more learning opportunities.")

Parents who want to encourage their child to play need to keep in mind that in the world of play anything pretty much goes. While it's important to do things like make dolls sit at a dinner table and have dinner, or to make little cars drive up hills and around corners; it also encourages imagination and enjoyment to make dolls do silly things and even make cars talk. In fact, two-year-olds love it when anything "talks". My two-year-old niece was in delightful "hysterics" when my two feet suddenly started to "talk" to her and tell her that they didn't want to have shoes on them.

Some activities two-year-olds enjoy with a parent or other adult require no toys at all. The hilarious talking feet is one example. Two-year-olds aren't too young to enjoy hearing silly sounding words or trying to guess which hand the penny is in. Just exploring the backyard and talking about what you "discover" is interesting for a two-year-old.

When helping a child learn to play with toys calling for imagination (like dollhouses, toy kitchens, etc.) it helps to keep in mind what a two-year-old tends to know about life. They know about mommies and babies, families, daddies and mommies going to work, riding in cars, children going to school, and people going to places like banks, grocery stores, and the Post Office. They know about visiting family members, feeding "kitties" and "doggies", and whatever they're used to eating for meals. There's a lot of imagined "living" those dollhouse dolls and stuffed animals can do that is within the grasp of a two-year-old.

Books. Little children need parents to read to them, but they can also enjoy looking at books by themselves if the books have pictures that will capture their interest.

3. Toys and activities that generally always require the participation of a parent or other adult

Some toys that, on the one hand, seem essential for a two-year-old are, on the other hand, somewhat unappealing to them without the involvement of a parent or other older person. A big ball is a perfect example. A two-year-old can't bounce a ball. All he can do is drop the ball or else throw it. There's not a lot of entertainment in dropping a ball more than a few times, and a thrown ball just goes off somewhere until it stops and does nothing. A ball is a great toy for a two-year-old, but it takes someone big to play "roll-the-ball" or "easy catch". Otherwise, a ball usually doesn't keep a two-year-old entertained for too long, particularly after the newness has worn off.

Two-year-olds don't have the fine motor skills to play well with smaller balls; and if there's one useless ball for two-year-olds it's a small football (which doesn't even roll and kind of hurts small hands that try to catch it).

Hand-puppets. Two-year-olds can enjoy having an adult make hand-puppets "be silly" or tell a story; but, in general, without having an adult make it "come alive", most hand-puppets are left lifeless by a two-year-old..

Toys that are "one-shot deals". Going back to the example of the toy telephone, there's only so much a young child is likely to do with something like a toy phone. The type of imagining required for maintaining interest in this type of toy is more than most two-year-olds can do for too long, if at all. Essentially, if there's not a big toy phone and a little toy phone which could be "mommy and baby" phones, and talk to each other; a toy phone doesn't usually hold much appeal. Things like toy irons, toy washing machines, or other toy versions of individual objects around the house have only limited appeal unless a parent can think of way to make them more interesting. Adults may buy something like a toy iron with the idea that a young child will enjoy "ironing" while his mother irons. He may enjoy that once or for a little while, but a two-year-old usually prefers to help his mother do something like fold the freshly washed dinner napkins or find all the same color socks.

Simple games. For the most part, games and even simple rules are beyond what a two-year-old can handle. Even with the simplest and fewest rules games just aren't what two-year-olds tend to want to play. That doesn't mean, though, that they can't enjoy the concept of a "game" created by a parent. Saying something like, "Let's play a game," and suggesting a two-year-old join you in something like finding all the kittens in the picture or picking up only the red blocks from the floor can introduce a young child to concept of an activity that has one simple rule, a little challenge, and the reward of success upon "finishing the game".



The year between around the second birthday and around the second is a transition year for young children. It's the year when a toddler graduates to "child", but it's also a year in which that very young child must iron out a lot of the bugs of being new to "being a child" rather than a toddler. It's a year when a lot of "polishing" of development goes on, and it is that often challenging year of having "being a big boy or girl" is thrust upon a very little, little, boy or girl who isn't quite emotionally able to deal with it.

Play for a two-year-old can serve many purposes. It can give a young child that positive attention from a parent. It can offer relaxation and fun in what may otherwise be a frazzling day. It helps develop skills, including language skills; but learning how to imagine and play and keep oneself entertained are skills in themselves. Play can help a two-year-old, who doesn't always understand other people or why things are done, understand his world better. It can also give him a sense of control for a while, as well as sense of being respect as an equal when someone big plays with him on his level and his terms.

Besides helping develop skills, play can help a young child who is in the "all about me and my insecurities" year learn more about his larger world, grow more sure and comfortable in it, and come to take it for granted that he belongs in it. When he is three he will start to focus more on the social aspects of life, but during that less-sure year of being two play will remain one of the most valuable parts of a young child's life.