Control in Relationships - Who Should Have Most of It

It is generally agreed upon by people who understand the dynamics of healthy relationships that no one person should have the "bulk of the control". When one person does have all the control that makes a very unhealthy relationship.

What makes sense in any relationship is that the person who is the most skilled, knowledgeable or able to manage certain tasks should be the one to manage those tasks. Even then, though, relationships are supposed to be equal partnerships, and that means that even if one person is in charge of one type of task or area the other should still be consulted on any decisions (unless s/he says s/he doesn't care and doesn't want to be consulted). If one person is better at managing money it makes sense that person manage the money. If someone else if more knowledgeable about parenting then that person is the one who should generally be in charge of how things are done when it comes to parenting. When it comes to tasks everyone needs to do, regardless of whether they're in a relationship or not (laundry, house-cleaning, dishes, etc.) its good if people share. Some couples, however, agree that one partner has more time and should handle a few more of these tasks than the other. As long as the arrangement is an agreed upon one it doesn't amount to one partner's controlling the other. (My belief is that the person who does most of the cleaning gets to make most of the rules about shoes on coffee tables, eating in living rooms, where dirty laundry goes, etc.)

No normal, well adjusted, person who loves someone in a healthy way wants to control them, or have "the bulk of control" in the relationship. When one person wants/has most of the control in a relationship at best it is unhealthy, and at worst it is abusive.