Must You Give Up Your Pet Because You're Having a Baby?

There's no reason anyone should have to give up your pet because a baby will be arriving.

Ordinarily, a little caution and good sense are all that are needed.

Infants and young children should never be left unsupervised with pets, but since both children and pets generally need a certain amount of supervision or structure anyway, following the "never-alone-together" rule isn't a big deal.

Tiny infants aren't usually of much consequence to the family pet. The tiniest of babies is either in a parent's arms or in a bassinet or crib. My dog didn't act as if he was even curious about the two infants I brought in at different times, but some dogs may be curious. My cat has no interest either. Although cats are known for being curious; the cats I've known are less curious about infants n cribs than they are interested in finding a nice, comfortable, clean place to sleep. This may be the biggest reason a cat may decide to hop into a bassinet if it had the chance.

Although it isn't all that likely, there's always the chance a large, clumsy, dog could accidentally knock over a piece of baby equipment. Again, a parent who sees a dog too close to the baby swing can simply guide the dog away. (I don't recall my dog ever even going near any of the baby equipment.) Cats generally don't hop onto baby equipment if the baby is in it. Large dogs under two years old (and cats under two) are less mellow than their older counterparts; but all that means is keeping a little extra eye out and possibly having to be a little more proactive in deciding who (the child or the pet) will use which room when.

Although many elderly pets are as passive and calm as can be, sometimes one may become a little less patient than s/he used to be. Some may have some arthritis that acts up. Some may have poor vision. Elderly pets that don't feel as well as they used to, however, tend to be inactive - which can make supervising more a matter of keeping the baby or child away from them, rather than worrying about the pet knocking over a baby swing.

Not allowing the dog or cat to go into the baby's room is easy. So is keeping an eye on a baby who is sleeping in, say, the living room: When a parent is also in the room even the pet who heads toward the baby can be told, "no". If a parent is not in the room, keep the pet out too.

It may make sense to have the pet stay in one room or on a different floor of the house while you sleep. We used to just lean a baby gate across the bottom of the stairs to prevent our Collie from coming upstairs. Some dogs are spunkier than that and may require a real closed door. Cats, of course, require a closed door. There's usually no need to lock the pet in a basement or garage. A closed kitchen or family room door or the right barrier can be enough. Most pets settle in and relax for the night. A few hours in the kitchen on a rug isn't such a bad arrangement for a pet.

As babies get old enough to be crawling there is, of course, more need for caution; and that need will continue to increase as the crawling baby starts walking and eventually turns into a toddler. This is when the pet who generally doesn't bother anyone may be unintentionally hurt by the child. Although most pets seem to understand that babies and toddlers didn't mean to hurt them, there is the chance that a pet will be hurt enough (or have had enough) to react badly.

Even as children grow older pets still need some protection from them. We've all seen ten-year-old kids yanking their puppy's leash, or four-year-old children carrying cats in some harmful way.

As far as protecting the pets from children go, very often kittens and puppies are more at risk than full-grown pets are. Full-grown pets, however, still need a certain amount of protection from children. Like children, when pets learn that those in charge will not allow anyone to hurt them, they learn to trust those in charge. It is when pets and children trust the kindness and protection of those in charge that they want to please, want to cooperate, become emotionally stable, and become even more attached.

We've all also seen children and pets who absolutely love being together. That's the other side of pets and children. There are emotional benefits to both children and pets when bonds form.

There is also the matter of concern about fleas, worms, or bacteria that can result when a pet is in the home.

My approach was to have my babies play on the rug in the living room, while the dog got to be in the family room downstairs. I didn't allow the dog or cat to be on the furniture either. There are, of course flea treatments and worm checks for pets; but to be safe, having the baby play on some floors and the pets use other floors doesn't hurt. Litterboxes can be placed where the baby can't go. Pet dishes can as well. (Make no mistake about it: A baby, and even older children, WILL eat pet food. Many a seven-year-old has eaten a dog biscuit!)

There are parents who just relax and let the babies and children and pets all do whatever they want. In the vast majority of cases, all usually goes well. For those parents who are a little more concerned when it comes to contamination or potential danger, just a few reasonable, common-sense, rules can eliminate the potential of something unhealthy or harmful occurring.

While I am not in favor of extreme restrictions on either children or pets; as someone with three grown children and a lifetime's worth of well behaved pets, I know that children and pets alike benefit from being taught a few, reasonable, basic, rules. When pets are treated with kindness and given plenty of comfy places to sleep they don't mind not being allowed into the bedrooms or not being allowed on the living room rug. When young children are stopped before they poke their fingers in the dog's eyes they will learn that that isn't something people do. As they get a little older they will also come to learn that animals have feelings and are not objects.

As far as I'm concerned (and as far as a whole lot of people are concerned), children and pets belong together - just not in the same room without supervision, at least until parents are certain the child has simply outgrown any tendency to "man-handle" the pet. Parents need to understand, too, that some children are more aggressive than others, although when a toddler squeezes the cat's tail that's not a matter of aggression.

Taking those few easy precautions with pets just in the first few years of a child's life are a small price to pay for doing what is kindest for the pet and nice for the whole family.