Should Preteen Kids Have A Cell Phone?

The following question was asked on HubPages' "requests-for-Hubs" section:  "How do I know if my daughter is growing up too fast?  She's only ten, and she wants a cell phone.  What should I do?"

The following discussion is only "one person's opinion", but I've offered it here because the person who posted the question was apparently seeking such opinions.

Wanting a cell phone at ten years old is not necessarily a sign of growing up too fast. Having a cell phone (like so many other kids do), and being able to call friends, is the dream of most young girls. The more sociable the girl and the more friends she has, the more she is likely to want a cell phone.

More reliable signs that a ten-year-old is growing up are things like dressing beyond what is appropriate for that age, watching only television programs aimed at an older audience, talking only about "teen-age" subjects, and having a snobbishness about what is "not cool" that usually only sets in much later.Ten-year-olds who not grown up too fast should still be spending part of most days playing. They don't play with dolls or other toys generally associated with earlier childhood, but they still usually have interest in playing outside with one or more friends (playing jump rope, Hide and Seek, softball, etc.). Most ten-year-olds and their friends enjoy board games. Bike riding, skate boarding, and athletic activities are things most kids that age enjoy. So is spending one-on-one time with each parent.Most ten-year-olds have little interest of kids of the opposite gender. That doesn't mean that two opposite-gender will never, ever, be friends. Generally, though, most ten-year-olds prefer to be with kids of their own gender. Ten-year-old girls who have a crush on a classmate may or may not confess this to close friends. Ten-year-old boys who have noticed one girl in class are not likely to ever confess to anyone.Part of how fast any child grows up is about how fast parents allow them to grow. Parents can define what is appropriate for what age; and as long as parents' definition of what is appropriate is fairly close in line with well established developmental milestones, children usually find a way to accept guidelines. Another part of how fast a child grows up is that friends that child keeps. Often, however, children who are substantially less grown-up than their friends will gradually find friends who are more like they are.I believe that giving a cell phone to a ten-year-old is not necessarily a bad thing. The ten-year-old who can call a parent at any given time is less likely to be left standing somewhere because some activity ended early. A cell phone can actually help kids and parents stay a little closer throughout the day. Parents who offer an "emergency-only" cell phone give their child the knowledge that they, like their peers, have a phone, even if THEIR phone is only to be used for emergencies.Children can learn to manage money and time with the use of a prepaid cell phone that has a few dollars on it. They can also learn about reasons not to fill up a phone's address book and other features with personal information. Parents can give a child a prepaid phone with very limited time on it, tell the child that they expect x amount of time left for emergency calls and/or calls to and from parents, and allow the child to use the remaining time at s/he wishes. When service providers provide roll-over, children can learn that saving time this month means having extra talk time next month.Parents can also limit where the phone is to be used. Having a "no-use" rule when the child has access to the home phone, or between certain hours, can reduce indiscriminate over-use.The ten-year-old who is given a cell phone is usually so delighted to have that phone s/he is very likely to happily live with restrictions. Parents can explain to children, "You are only ten years, and I am paying for the phone. I believe that a ten-year-old only needs a phone for certain purposes and at certain times, and I am only willing to pay a certain amount. If you can stick by a few reasonable rules you may keep the phone. If you don't then we can try it again next year."Parents who acknowledge that a cell phone does, in fact, offer some benefits even to children, and who understand the normal wish of children to have what many peers have (and what will make them feel a little more grown-up), usually seem like reasonable parents to their children. When parents set reasonable limits that are based on a child's age they continue to maintain an appropriate level of parental control.Having a cell phone, by itself, does not determine whether a child is growing up too fast. Neither, in my opinion, does wanting one - particularly when family members and friends already have them.